My Wellness Formula

Post 005: 30 Simple Practices for Wellbeing

Health is a state of body.  Wellness is a state of being.


For most of my adult life I have been on some diet or another.  I went on my first diet at 18 years old in order to lose weight ahead of my matric farewell (high school prom).  I successfully lost 8kg (17.5 lbs) in 8 weeks; and then put it all back on when the farewell was over.  I have over the past 20 or so years lost huge sums of weight and always put it back on with interest.  I was trapped in a lifestyle of yo-yo dieting with the focus being on my size.  My self-worth was integrally tied to the number on the scale.

Being a goal orientated person, I found it easy to stick to diets in the short-term, and would lose weight easily; but at some point it would no longer be sustainable.  As I got older, that point came earlier and earlier with each diet attempt.  Diet and exercise became a punishment for being a bad person – because obviously being fat made me a bad person.  When I felt really bad, I found comfort in all the food that I was not allowed to eat when being punished.  And so, I was imprisoned in this cycle alternating between punishment and comfort eating.

Things changed when I gave up on my weight.  I had reached a point where I couldn’t deal with the diets any more.  I made peace with the fact that I was a bigger girl and decided to accept it and live with it.  Now, many of you reading this may cringe at the thought of accepting being bigger – “What about the health implications?” you scream.  Well to be honest, at that point in my life health was the furthest thing from my mind.  Losing weight had never been about being healthy; it had been about being accepted – and that is a battle that few can win.  I had really hit rock bottom, with no more fuel left in the tank to play this viscous mind/body game that I had been subjecting myself to – the only thing left was to give up.  Ironically, it was the best thing I did.

Once I stopped worrying about the weight, the focus become more internal.  I focussed on being the best human being I can be – the best version of me.  When I thought about what it meant to be my best “me”, things like my weight or what I looked like played no role in that definition; but being healthy was an integral part of the meaning.  My mind changed from diet and exercise being a punishment because I was bad, to health being something that I deserved because I was a good human being.  That adjustment in thinking changed everything for me.  Because I deserved it, making a healthy food choice became easy; because I deserved it, exercise became something I looked forward to.  Inevitably the weight slowly came off.

More importantly, my understanding of health and wellness is really broad so it is not just about physical health.  I take a very holistic view on wellness; to be truly healthy we need to be looking after not only our bodies but also our minds, our heart and our spirit.  So while I no longer follow any strict rules for achieving health; I do have a number of practices that I follow in my life that I believe keep me healthy, wealthy and wise.  Of these practices very few are about diet and exercise; because health starts with heart, mind and spirit; and then the body follows.

I define joy as a sustained sense of wellbeing and internal peace –

a connection to what matters.


These are the practices that I strive to follow (I’m not always consistent, but that’s ok – if I can do it more often than not, I’m winning):

  1. Love myself and be my own best friend – there is nothing more empowering than being comfortable just being with myself
  2. Focus on finding happiness from within – attempting to find happiness in another person, a career or in possessions is temporary and deceptive
  3. Be authentic – it’s ok to be me, quirks and all. I love this quote from Dr. Seuss: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
  4. Spend time with people who build, nurture and support me and don’t waste time on toxic relationships
  5. Be open to new experiences
  6. Be kind – ALWAYS – even when every bone in my body says differently
  7. Forgive – nobody can do anything so bad that it is worth deferring my happiness over.
  8. Cut myself some slack – I don’t have to be perfect all the time
  9. Be grateful
  10. Keep a journal – don’t keep my thoughts and emotions bottled up – get it all out on paper – the good, the bad and the ugly.
  11. Read – learning is a life-long journey
  12. Stick to an early morning routine
  13. Stick to a before bed routine
  14. Sleep at least 7 hours every night
  15. Set time aside for stillness whether it be through meditation or just sitting quietly under a tree – give my busy mind a break every day
  16. Limit TV and social media time
  17. Listen to music – life is always better with a soundtrack
  18. Live sustainably – Mother nature will survive without us; but we will not survive without her
  19. Live with less – get rid of the stuff that’s anchoring me in the harbour and not letting me sail freely into open water
  20. Move – it doesn’t need to be a vigorous gym routine – take the dog for a walk, choose to take the stairs instead of the lift, dance – just move as much as possible.
  21. Fresh air – get outside – it’s beautiful and it will invigorate me no matter what the season
  22. Water, water and more water
  23. Fresh organic food is best
  24. Eat colourfully – I try to have veggies of every colour on my plate
  25. Limit simple carbs and sugar – I reserve them for the occasional treat
  26. Eating a little fat is ok – but I make sure they are the good fats
  27. Take a good quality supplement – even the healthiest lifestyle will miss a few essential nutrients
  28. Have a hobby that I am really passionate about – something that gets the creative juices flowing and gives me joy – and I try to engage in it regularly.
  29. Be smart with my money – avoid debt; have a rainy day fund; and set aside 10% of my earnings in investments that can’t be touched.
  30. LAUGH – from deep in my belly – it’s so, so good for the soul

A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.



I wish I could tell you that bouncing back from heartache is as simple as it seems in this post, but obviously it’s not.  Elevating my life involved being brave enough to look inward, reflecting on the deep, hidden parts of me that can be hard to look at.  But doing this allowed me to shine a light on my shadows and, more significantly, see the parts of me that make me truly extraordinary. This introspection was made much easier with an incredible tool called the Enneagram.

The Enneagram is a personality profiling system that focuses on our pathways to healing and wholeness.  Understanding my Enneagram archetype not only helped me to understand why I am the way I am, but also gave me a roadmap to healing my heart and building resilience and courage.

The path to healing is complex and very different for each one of us.  The Enneagram helps us to take the keys to happiness and implement them in a way that is tailored to our individual journeys.

Today, I invite you to take that first step to healing your heart by taking our FREE mini-Enneagram assessment.

“A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.



Complete this five-minute assessment and receive your personalized Heartbreak to Wholeness Roadmap based on your specific core personality motivations.  The roadmap gives you a blueprint to wholeness focusing specifically on the 5 Keys to Happiness, with simple practical suggestions on how to take the first steps to your extraordinary life.


Alexandra helps ordinary women live extraordinary lives of freedom, meaning, and happiness.  If you want to heal from heartbreak, build courage and resilience, be holistically well in mind, heart and soul, and live a life of purpose, meaning and joy, then she is here to help you.

As the founder of The Flying Phoenix, she assists and supports women to use their heartbreak as a catalyst for a breakthrough and create the extraordinary life of freedom, meaning, and happiness, they desire and deserve.


I would love to hear from you.  What has your experience been with this topic?  Do you have some tips or strategies in addition to the one’s mentioned above?  Maybe you have a burning question?  Perhaps you have the solution to someone else’s question.

The best growth and learning comes from engagement and sharing, please comment below and share your thoughts, questions and personal experiences.


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